The Cry of My Heart.....A Cry For The Nations.

Walking out Your Faith....

2006-09-06T12:11:00.000-04:00

This posting is in NO WAY to become a "Oohhhhh..poor Jena" blog, but just a walk in my life and a chance to truly verbalize whats been going on in my head ( There's lots of room up there to ponder!)

THE FACTS: I have an incurrable ( NOT FOR GOD!) disease that has been with me for almost 20 years. Remember the woman with the issue of blood?. Two years ago, after 18 years of misdiagnosis and" no-name-sydrome", I finally got the name, condition, and helpful hints for "managing-the pain".

THE PRACTICE: Not life threatening or even contagious, however, there are very few days in the year that this doesn't affect my physical body.I have a hard time imaging the pain most cancer patients must go through with Chemotherapy. Some people have a hard time thinking of what i go through....It's all relative. Believing that God has ALREADY chosen the time I am to be healed, my course is simply to follow out my day to day life with FAITH!!!

THE WRENCH: I recently went though an outpatient surgury for an infection that basically THRIVES in the enviroment that my body produces, with this condition. Because I have been exposed, Im at risk for future outbreaks. Insurance is now a must ( pratically) as my doctor visits will be increasing dramatically over the next 6 months.

THE QUESTION: Where is the line between having Faith in the "unkown' of God (ie. mission trips overseas for extended lengths of time) and being a good steward over your life?? ( living in a place that offers good medical care). Where is the line between reconignizing your ' cross to bear'( as Paul did with his "thorn in his flesh") or walking with the hope that this is not what God wanted for you?
A few years ago, when I found out that even though there was a name for this disease, there was still no cure.....I was devestated! Friends consoled me with prayer and stories of Paul's situation. Now, I have friends consoling me with prayer and telling me NOT to just assume this is my lot in life but to believe in a miracle. I just pray that as God continues to give me grace in this situation, that He reveals His will for my life. Until then, Ill just "......put one foot in front of the other , and soon Ill be walking through the door-or-ooor..."

The time has come..

2006-08-18T10:46:00.000-04:00

I have put off writing for so long and I still DON'T HAVE PICS yet of Brazil....but were moving on. This summer has been an Amazing opportunity for me to rest in the Lord....what that really means is that I have had the hardest summer ever. I didnt think it would be difficult to rest having only a parttime job and no real schedule Sunday through Wednesday....BOY was I fooled!!!!! After going through a season of sleeping 14hrs a day, I recognized that I was BORED beyond belief. I thought my schedule was always TOO full but I realized that I just function better when I have a busier schedule. It helps me maintain discipline in a chaotic world. But the hardest thing, was truly resting in God. Waiting for His direction and timing has almost KILLED me. I always knew I was impatient, but this summer showed me how much. I started feeling like Elijah ( 1Kings 18 v16) after being in the presence of God on Mt Carmel and being used as His instument , I came down off that mountain and realized I was afraid of my Jezebel....my age catching up to me. So I ran. I ran all summer long in the wilderness. I layed before the Lord and beared my soul and felt His only response was " Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you " (19 v7). But though it all, I feel like I now am standing in the presence of the Lord and the wind is blowing.... but the Lord is not in the wind. And an earthquake is trembling......but the Lord is not in the earthquake....and a fire breaks out.....but the Lord is not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper............................... Oh Lord help me to hear your whisper.......

under constuction It's coming!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-01T11:18:00.000-04:00

Im back from Brazil........Im just waiting on pics to add

IN with the old and IN with the new !

2006-03-27T15:17:00.000-05:00

SOME OLD WITH SOME NEW.......... These are a couple of my favorites from both Romainia trips. I don't think Ill ever be able to express how much I appreciated EVERYONE who 'put up with me'

back in america

2006-03-16T09:43:00.000-05:00

still recovering, but I wanted to put pics up .....love you romainians...all of you

it is finished...............

2006-03-12T11:00:00.000-05:00

For my last blog,I was going to write a heart wrenching "nugget" comprised of ALL the things God has accomplished here in Romania through me. However............I have cried over 6 times today, and Im exhausted!!!! The way my itinerary stands at this moment is this:

I leave Oradea @ 6pm Tues 14th arriving at Budapest airport around 11pm. I then wait there until 8:10am Wed 15th ( yes I know its long enough time to get some homework done) before I leave and fly to Heathrow, London where I wait another 7 hours. ( I might even get some book reports finished)I leave London at 3pm and get into Dulles at 6pm ( EST)on Wed 15th.

The one thing I can say about leaving here, is that God does not want me to go without hearing from Him. He has been speaking to me since last Friday. Just today, I've had 3 people from different churches speak to me about my work here and what God was able to accomplished here in Romania through me. He is amazing and I pray that I will always be as faithful to Him as He has been to me.

Pics.....Finally!!!!!!

2006-03-01T14:05:00.000-05:00

Ciuciui's at their best....playing games

Carmen, David and me at Camp Sebastian and I

Ligia trying to beat me "at the flash"

2 weeks and trying NOT to count......

2006-03-01T13:31:00.000-05:00

"....Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah AS HE HAD SAID, and the Lord DID for Sarah WHAT HE HAD PROMISED. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age AT THE VERY TIME GOD HAD PROMISED." [Gen 21 :1-2]

I was a little surprised at reading this passage the other day. Not surprised by what was said, but surprised by my reaction to it which was"....Well....of course it was God's perfect plan at His perfect timing." Then....I tried to apply that confidence to my life and....OUCH!!!

My time is coming to a close here and God has done just what He had promised me He would do.He brought me to Romania during the Holiday season and provided family from the "Universal Body"to share it with. He has provided financially from not only the plane ticket, but to the little things like having to go to the Dr.'s and get medication.He has given me His grace in the times that I wanted it and put people in front of me to" LOVE ON ME" in times when I needed it. He told me this trip would be for 3 months and if I just waited on Him daily He would guide me and keep me from evil..........and He Has!! The Best part is that He has done this in His timing and I just continue to trust that it is better than mine!!!!!!

So it's with peaceful tears that I prepare to leave this beautiful country, with it's beautiful people and I just pray that if it's His will, that this won't actually be goodbye, but more of a ..."See ya' later!"

For Giggles........

2006-02-15T14:28:00.000-05:00

( sung to the 'camp' song)
Hello Mudder
.....
Hello
Father
....grettings from the Frozen Tundra.....life is cold here.....its amazing.... even dogs have found the sport of figure skating. In 4 weeks now....ill be returning...to the land of people who hurry.
I have a cold now...buts it O.K.....even the Dr. said I'd live another day.I take drugs now...they're pretty cheap...it cost less than...socks for your feet. Six more days now...and Ill be healed...Im surprised how good the VODKA makes you feel(just kidding).
I just paid the..... rent at last...God has blessed me... with lots of Cash.Even in the....little things...He just makes me want to always praise and sing.I must go now...it's getting late....it takes a while.....to put on my skates.It's kinda funny....but on the walk home....IM THE ONLY ONE IN THIS COUINTRY WITHOUT A CELL PHONE. love your daugther :)

Our L.O.T. in life....Life Over Twenty-five and single

2006-02-13T13:11:00.000-05:00

At a recent retreat with an youth group ,(whose average age was 17) a thought was birth in me as I was discussing my "single-ness" with a few of the other leaders who were, like me, beautiful women, that were over 25 and single. I realized that the mentality of our "L.O.T" had been tainted and that somewhere down the line, we had fallen into some category marked.... "Unable to be married" or "Too Old to be a Mother". Where was I when this happened???Just because my knees sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies in the morning when I get out of bed, does not de-value my role in the Kingdom of God. If I truly believe in God's perfect timing, then I can't burden myself with the idea that I made some "mistake" in my past which is the reason for my 'single-ness' now. That I somehow just made the wrong choice so.......thats it, no wedding bells for me. Remember Lot's wife?? She decided she might of left something behind, or she just had a neck "twich". Either way, she became a 'salt-lick ' for some happy horse. Because of all these queries, the Holy Spirit began to reveal some truths about where my position is, and I would like to offer these to ALL who share this "L.O.T." in life. Are these Truths that have never been shared before? Probably not. They're just a reminder and an encouragement to enjoy THIS season of my life in Christ.
Annointing- God has a plan that involves single woman. Jesus ministry was supported by a group of woman that would attend to Him and all the disciples needs. Their finances were sponsored by woman, as well as having continued prayer support. When you dedicate your life and time to Christ, He will anoint all that you give and every area that you let Him in.
Grace-More than just a beautiful woman who got to dance with Fred Astaire, God wants us to be filled with His grace. It's a gift which allows us to face difficult situations ( or people) with a smile and say " It's O.K.", BUT actually mean it. " All this is for your benefit, so the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
2 Corinthians 4:15
Endued with Power- Not just for the men in the Upper Room at Pentecost, God wants us to be walking fully in His power . 1Corthinthians 12:28 speaks of the callings of God, but it calls on the whole Body of Christ as it's recipients. As we woman step out in faith, lets pray for Holy Spirit to give us MORE. Remember, it was a woman with the issue of blood that reached out her hand to touch Jesus' hem and by faith, received His power and her healing.
Developing our Character- "What ??" I don't need that, I already AM a character. Yes....you might be, but who are you??? The Tazmanian Devil in a glass shop?? or Minnie Mouse supporting your infamous husband?Someone recently defined character as 'how you act when no one else is around'. How are those qualities when your alone in your room? Here's a test ladies. Get a piece of paper and write down all the great qualities you "think" you have. Then open up Proverbs chapter 31 and read verses 10b-31, and write down all of "her" qualities....now compare them. Feel like you may have some areas to improve on before you get married?? You're probably right!!
Ladies remember......There are things that God is breathing in our life that would not be birthed if we were married right NOW. Face it, if you had a husband and 3 children, would you be able to spend as much time at the church as you are spending now?? Would you be able to help lead that " Women's Group"?? Help out in the nursery?? Go out EVERY Saturday for Prayer night?? God is raising up "this generation to set the world on fire." So what is OUR generation to do??? We are to remain faithful to Him, we are to marry Christian men( when it's His timing) and we are to raise children and families that KNOW Christ. The bible says every tongue ,every tribe and every nation shall bow to Jesus and confess His name. ( Philippians 2 :9-11) The way I see it, that can only happen when wise, mature, noble woman of God begin fulfilling their destiny in Him. Be Annointed, Walk in Grace, ask for Enduing power and Develop your character. Or , to make it shorter....become A.G.E.D.....it will be worth it!

Question of the week...Hot Water Yes or No

2006-02-02T08:34:00.000-05:00

You'd be surprised on mission trips when you find out what's necessity and what's not. Alisa and I have gone 4 days without Hot water. We had a brief spell last night where after the"sludge" came out, (thats the stuff BEFORE the "rust -color "water) there was Hot water for 1 WHOLE HOUR......I know, I know it's hard to believe, but, I would have to admit, Im getting pretty good with a tea kettle and a sink plug. So the question remains......Is HOT Water a necessity in YOUR life??????????

p.s. Ill be at Camp Next week so Ill return to blog/email on the 13th

Excuse me, is that your pinky......?

2006-01-23T09:08:00.000-05:00

Top 10 Clues that it's REALLY Cold in Romania:

1) Even the Romainian's look cold ( Thanks Thomas )

2) You tend to huddle in "packs "when walking (much like sheep I've noticed)

3) Hot water never seems to reach the apartment floor you live on when you DESPERATELY need a shower. (This applies to ANY floor above sea level)

4) You debate if the t-shirt, sweater, hoodie, longjohns, sweatpants, jeans and 2 pair of thermal socks are warm enough for you to make it to your next location.......the bathroom.

5) Your elated to find out that your nose has FINALLY STOPPED dripping, until you realize that your snot has just formed an icicle.

6) 1 pkt of instant kool-aid+ a butter knife+ the inside of your apartment windows will give you enough ingredients to sponsor the CLC Summer Picnic with "Snow Cones".....for the next 2 yrs

7) Due to the uncontrollable shivering that occurs ALL night, 12 hours of sleep just dosen't quite seem enough ( or so I've been told....really....OK,OK I admit it, I had to test this one out!!)

8) You find yourself volunteering to fold the churches bulletin's just so you can have the chance to rub your face against the warm copies ( This works really good when trying to defrost the icicle .See # 5)

9) You leave food OUTSIDE of the refridgerator at night to keep it cold. AND..........

10) When typing in the internet cafe, you look down and notice someone's pinky lying on the floor from where the frostbite had caused it to break off...eewwwww

if only.....

2006-01-13T07:47:00.000-05:00

If only laughter could be bottled up and used as an energy source. They should make a movie out of that! Ohh .........wait, they did...."Monster's Inc" I can't THANK YOU guys enough for your responses and encouragement to my blog. I find myself laughing so hard at what YOU write. I'm glad God has surrounded me with a bunch of comedians. Please remember to keep checking the last "posting" as that's the one I use to respond back to you . You guys are awesome and I love you.

This is Casi, a little girl that goes to the church.

Nadia Comaneci & the Door of Destiny

2006-01-11T08:57:00.000-05:00

God opens up doors for many reasons, and sometimes He justs asks us if we have enough faith to step through. He doesn't tell us what's on the other side, but as believing Christians, we KNOW that whatever it is, if we abide in His will, the outcome will be for His Glory here on Earth. I have heard a lot of messages recently that have included " walking through doors". Even before I came to Romania, a pastor in Mississippi had spoken to me about stepping through a "door" to the destiny that God had planned for me here. So you can imagine the surprise and relief I felt when one of the first sermons given here was on the " Door to our Destiny". The Pastor had an archway he was using as an example and at the end of the service, we were asked to step through this as an acceptance of the destiny God had for us in Him. I turned to Dorina and said" I think I'm suppose to walk through that doorway" she agreed and I walked to the other side of the sanctuary. The pastor suggested praying as we walked through of our commitment to God, but asked that we keep it short as there were MANY people who wanted to go through. As I got to the front, I remember saying;" Lord, THIS is the door to my destiny in You..." Why I sound freaky spiritual when I pray in my head I don't know, but as I was praying this, I took a step to walk through and my heel caught on the ridge of the archway. I would like to say that I landed gracefully on the otherside in a flexible example of Nadia Comaneci landing after the vault compition. Instead, I hurled forward, almost "line-driving" 2 people who were in front of me, caught myself as I was getting ready to crush somebody's grandmother, and managed to move myself off to the side without splitting my skirt. As I stood there in the surreal state of " Did that really happen??"and "Did anybody see me?", I remember thinking......"OK God, you didn't have to push me!"So, my recommendation to others would be..." When stepping through your 'Door of Destiny', make sure if your head is in the clouds, that you're feet are firmly planted on the rock of God.

To everything there is a season.....

2006-01-06T06:07:00.000-05:00

Ecclesiastes says: A time to plant and a time to uproot. This has now become my time to uproot. The Lord is blessing me with a new place to stay, so I shall be moving today (only 10 min away) to share an apartment with an American girl named Alisa from Fredricksburg, VA. Thomas ,( the other Impact student who arrived last night) will be moving into Anca, Gelu & David's home today. What a blessing for all of us. Now neither one of us will have to worry about transportation to the church as we both will be in walking distance YEAH, Thomas will be enjoying some excellent romanian cooking , David will have ANOTHER male to play with and Alisa will have more company than just her 2 cats.To Anca and family, I cannot Thank you enough for ALL that you've done for me. The blessings you have poured out into my life have been abundant, and I will never be the same again. FOR YOU HAVE CHANGED ME Thank you from the bottom of my heart. For Alisa......look out as another CRAZY American is coming to have a few ADVENTURES with you.....heheheheheheeee

Speaking of Romain-glish.....

2005-12-29T06:49:00.000-05:00

Everyone is so awesome here in helping me with my pronuciation. Even David my 1 1/2 year old house mate. I had gone 7 days before I asked Anca and Gelu "Why" they never told David NO!!. They responded with"..... we tell David NO all the time. We say " New voya"( not correct spelling) I started laughing and told them that it sounded so pretty when they said it that I didn't think it meant NO.
Now, let me tell you how Amazing God is. Knowing that I would be out of my element in any kind of Frozen Tundra.......He has given me a heat wave YEAH!!! Since Christmas, not only has all the snow melted, but we had sunshine yesterday. Some people cant believe it, I just know that He loves me and is looking out for me!!!!

Give me a K...E..Y...Board

2005-12-19T13:34:00.001-05:00

For those who stopped watching" Desperate Housewives" to find out what is going on with the Keyboard Situation, you'll be happy to know thats IT IS HERE!!!!!!! It is BROKEN, but it is here. Actually, only 2 keys are broken from it, which is fixable, but it's still not being played : (
Stayed tune for the next episode in which 2 keys produce themselves in a supernatural way in Romania for the exact size keyboard we have!!!!!
{Kids Xmas Cantata Romanian Style}

the name is Dorinaaaaaaaaaaaa.........

2005-12-17T06:36:00.000-05:00

Lesson number#1 when pronouncing feminine names in "Romaneste" never , ever forget the "aaaaaaaaaaaaaa" other wise you will be calling them a guy.
By the way, Dorina says 'hi"to P. Henry, Erica, Danny boy, Celeste, P. Brian all the others that she knows but can't remember the names.....She is praying for her American vacation this summer. ( Hint-Hint for those who would like to sponser an exchange student).
Dafni.....Flavi is in America of all things.........I think I will see her before I leave!
Thomas....check w/ P. Brian on info
NOW........all is great! Romania is cold with a few snow showers and ice, but ears and nose are still intact. I'm living with a great couple named Anca and Gelu and their baby David. It's only a 15 min walk to the church ( Thank you God even in the little things) and I am soooooo spoiled because Anca is a great cook AND THEY HAVE A WASHER!!!!!!!!!! I get my schedule next week from the Pastors, but what it looks like so far includes: piano lessons, helping with praise & worship for kids program and general "what- nots". Thank you for your continual prayers and support, I appreciate the comments.....BTW...Impact....I miss you ALL ....you know who who are.....

Im in Romania

2005-12-15T14:24:00.000-05:00

Ater too many hours to count......Im at the church...trying not to fall asleep.....typing this..... I will write more tomorrow but I just wanted to let everyone know Im safe.
P.S. for the keyboard enthusists........It's not here with e, It's in London will keep you updated!!!

The sun will come out.......

2005-12-13T16:26:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow ............. Well my bags are packed and I'm ready to go...... Actually, that's not true. Not only are my bags NOT packed
but I'm not sure if I'm ready for the cold!!! Are 12 pairs of gloves enough? Hopefully, everyone has gotten all the info they need from me before I take off . For those who don't have it, my email is cre8d4him@hamptonroads.com However, before I go, I must really steal Hillary's "Question of the day" and ask: How many pairs of shoes are appropriate on a mission trip??? My philosophy is that International Missions does not give one permission to dress as "grungy" as possible and break ALL fashion rules. (Of course this does not apply to 3rd world countries in which most of the culture has no shoes!) Pray for Romania( they don't know "who"there getting... hehehe) Pray for traveling mercies( especially when trying to land an "air BUS" in the middle of a snowstorm) but most of .....Pray for my shoe issue.....

Check out Kerry Shannon's Blog!!!!

2005-12-05T15:07:00.000-05:00

Kerry Shannon

ON THE MOVE

2005-12-05T14:42:00.000-05:00

Things are finally setteling down......Hahahahhahahahaaaaaa. I'm sorry, I guess I just needed a good laugh. Well , just to stay abreast, I leave in 9 days, only have 1 piece of luggage (which is still 1 short), and must now bring with me a 94 pound musical keyboard that is Overweight, Oversized and Over-the-limit in every possible way. Come On God!!!! I love it when Im put in positions that make me rely on Him.
I'm in the process of trying to add new links so bear with the " under- construction feel "of this website. I figure I should have it down pat by April.........

immbbaacckk!!

2005-11-30T13:18:00.000-05:00

Everytime I travel, I learn "Important" traveling tips. After conquering the "High-Heel 5K Race" in Charlotte ( Thanks Tara), I figured the trip back to Virginie would be uneventful. Of course realizing this is MY life, I should have known better.....So, to sum up my return:

1) When trying to get to warmer climate, Mother Nature will do everything in her power to STOP you .
2) Contrary to popular belief with some airlines, San Francisco is NOT a re-route to Williamsburg .
3)Lighters that may be accidentally forgotten in your make-up bag will only go through security 2ce before they figure out you may want to " catch your plane on fire" and have to strip search you!
4) However girls, if you DO need to melt down your eyeliner pencils, security does allow you 2 whole matches.
5) Believe it or not.... An airplane the size of a Pinto can hold over 30 passengers while flying through a tornado.
6) When your flight attendant demands and waits for aEVERYONE to grab the "Emergency Evac Cards" out of the seat pocket in front of you, chances are thay know something you don't
7) And finally....When trying to occupy time while flying, DON'T play the " Who Passed the Gas Game", because chances are, it will be the person next to you....and no, the safety masks WILL NOT drop out of the overhead bin to assist you...........

How many Pounds Over..........?

2005-11-18T09:22:00.000-05:00

As I travel more, I'm getting use to seeing those " TERMINAL" people. You know the ones.Their the ones who's plane has been delayed for another 15 hours and their trying NOT to cry, the ones who are trying to look non plussed while watching everything going on around them and the ones who are sitting on all their belongins to make sure that their bags have "....not been left unattended at ANY time". I however do not fall into these groups, I fall into the group of those who sre sitting on the airport floor with their "unmentionables" surronded around trying to repack my bag to meet the imposed weight requirements. Fun, Fun, Fun!! I made it to New York by Midnight ( yugh) after being routed to Charlotte, NC. Of course, for those who worry about "not getting enough excersise while flying" should simply do the 3k race thru a Concourse to make their connecting flight.It's a GREAT race, I highly recommend it wearing high-heels, carring 2 winter coats and an OVERSIZED carry-on weighting 35 pds. You can really FEEL the acid burn!!!!I tell you, after all this I walked down the ramp towards my parents not understanding why they werent smiling at me until I was 10 feet away. Note to self.... when going home to see the "parental units" after a year, DON'T straighten your hair, color it and pierce your nose... chances are they might not recognize you( hehehe) After hugs-n-kisses I made it home safe YEAH!!!!

Romania's Beauty

2005-11-15T11:21:00.000-05:00

MY LIFE AS A SARDINE

2005-11-15T10:05:00.000-05:00

I prepare to leave for NewYork tomorrow and just once I would like to tell the flight attendant that I would like to "Upsize" my seat.

THE PURPOSE

2005-11-14T10:30:00.000-05:00

This site is intended to inform and update anyone and everyone who has helped me to "Go" where God has called me to go. My next international trip is to Oradea , Romania in December in which I will stay until March. I want to publicly THANK all who have given their time, energy, money, prayers and tears to make this trip happen, and Most especially God for reaching through my stubborness and pride ( "Who Me????") because He had something GREATER planned for me........