Walking out Your Faith....

This posting is in NO WAY to become a "Oohhhhh..poor Jena" blog, but just a walk in my life and a chance to truly verbalize whats been going on in my head ( There's lots of room up there to ponder!)

THE FACTS: I have an incurrable ( NOT FOR GOD!) disease that has been with me for almost 20 years. Remember the woman with the issue of blood?. Two years ago, after 18 years of misdiagnosis and" no-name-sydrome", I finally got the name, condition, and helpful hints for "managing-the pain".

THE PRACTICE: Not life threatening or even contagious, however, there are very few days in the year that this doesn't affect my physical body.I have a hard time imaging the pain most cancer patients must go through with Chemotherapy. Some people have a hard time thinking of what i go through....It's all relative. Believing that God has ALREADY chosen the time I am to be healed, my course is simply to follow out my day to day life with FAITH!!!

THE WRENCH: I recently went though an outpatient surgury for an infection that basically THRIVES in the enviroment that my body produces, with this condition. Because I have been exposed, Im at risk for future outbreaks. Insurance is now a must ( pratically) as my doctor visits will be increasing dramatically over the next 6 months.

THE QUESTION: Where is the line between having Faith in the "unkown' of God (ie. mission trips overseas for extended lengths of time) and being a good steward over your life?? ( living in a place that offers good medical care). Where is the line between reconignizing your ' cross to bear'( as Paul did with his "thorn in his flesh") or walking with the hope that this is not what God wanted for you?
A few years ago, when I found out that even though there was a name for this disease, there was still no cure.....I was devestated! Friends consoled me with prayer and stories of Paul's situation. Now, I have friends consoling me with prayer and telling me NOT to just assume this is my lot in life but to believe in a miracle. I just pray that as God continues to give me grace in this situation, that He reveals His will for my life. Until then, Ill just "......put one foot in front of the other , and soon Ill be walking through the door-or-ooor..."

The time has come..

I have put off writing for so long and I still DON'T HAVE PICS yet of Brazil....but were moving on. This summer has been an Amazing opportunity for me to rest in the Lord....what that really means is that I have had the hardest summer ever. I didnt think it would be difficult to rest having only a parttime job and no real schedule Sunday through Wednesday....BOY was I fooled!!!!! After going through a season of sleeping 14hrs a day, I recognized that I was BORED beyond belief. I thought my schedule was always TOO full but I realized that I just function better when I have a busier schedule. It helps me maintain discipline in a chaotic world. But the hardest thing, was truly resting in God. Waiting for His direction and timing has almost KILLED me. I always knew I was impatient, but this summer showed me how much. I started feeling like Elijah ( 1Kings 18 v16) after being in the presence of God on Mt Carmel and being used as His instument , I came down off that mountain and realized I was afraid of my Jezebel....my age catching up to me. So I ran. I ran all summer long in the wilderness. I layed before the Lord and beared my soul and felt His only response was " Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you " (19 v7). But though it all, I feel like I now am standing in the presence of the Lord and the wind is blowing.... but the Lord is not in the wind. And an earthquake is trembling......but the Lord is not in the earthquake....and a fire breaks out.....but the Lord is not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper............................... Oh Lord help me to hear your whisper.......

under constuction It's coming!!!!!!!!!

Im back from Brazil........Im just waiting on pics to add

IN with the old and IN with the new !

SOME OLD WITH SOME NEW.......... These are a couple of my favorites from both Romainia trips. I don't think Ill ever be able to express how much I appreciated EVERYONE who 'put up with me'

back in america

still recovering, but I wanted to put pics up .....love you romainians...all of you

it is finished...............

For my last blog,I was going to write a heart wrenching "nugget" comprised of ALL the things God has accomplished here in Romania through me. However............I have cried over 6 times today, and Im exhausted!!!! The way my itinerary stands at this moment is this:

I leave Oradea @ 6pm Tues 14th arriving at Budapest airport around 11pm. I then wait there until 8:10am Wed 15th ( yes I know its long enough time to get some homework done) before I leave and fly to Heathrow, London where I wait another 7 hours. ( I might even get some book reports finished)I leave London at 3pm and get into Dulles at 6pm ( EST)on Wed 15th.

The one thing I can say about leaving here, is that God does not want me to go without hearing from Him. He has been speaking to me since last Friday. Just today, I've had 3 people from different churches speak to me about my work here and what God was able to accomplished here in Romania through me. He is amazing and I pray that I will always be as faithful to Him as He has been to me.

Pics.....Finally!!!!!!

Ciuciui's at their best....playing games

Carmen, David and me at Camp Sebastian and I


Ligia trying to beat me "at the flash"

2 weeks and trying NOT to count......

"....Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah AS HE HAD SAID, and the Lord DID for Sarah WHAT HE HAD PROMISED. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age AT THE VERY TIME GOD HAD PROMISED." [Gen 21 :1-2]

I was a little surprised at reading this passage the other day. Not surprised by what was said, but surprised by my reaction to it which was"....Well....of course it was God's perfect plan at His perfect timing." Then....I tried to apply that confidence to my life and....OUCH!!!

My time is coming to a close here and God has done just what He had promised me He would do.He brought me to Romania during the Holiday season and provided family from the "Universal Body"to share it with. He has provided financially from not only the plane ticket, but to the little things like having to go to the Dr.'s and get medication.He has given me His grace in the times that I wanted it and put people in front of me to" LOVE ON ME" in times when I needed it. He told me this trip would be for 3 months and if I just waited on Him daily He would guide me and keep me from evil..........and He Has!! The Best part is that He has done this in His timing and I just continue to trust that it is better than mine!!!!!!

So it's with peaceful tears that I prepare to leave this beautiful country, with it's beautiful people and I just pray that if it's His will, that this won't actually be goodbye, but more of a ..."See ya' later!"